I know I talk about Chemo Day a lot, but FOLFIRINOX is actually Chemo Days as the 5FU gets injected into me over 48 hours via this little meowing pump that lives in a fanny pack that I do not wear as a fanny pack but whatever.
This means it empties out later today and one of the cool and good people I know will schlep me over to the hospital and the nurses will unplug me and give me a shot to make whatever is left of my blood marrow go into overdrive to keep my WBC/RBC numbers just above “this is not a man, this is a zombie” levels. The appointment is labelled in the system as Fast Track Infusion.
IMPORTANT EDIT: Ellie deemed these days FastTrackFannyPackFridays because it gets a sensible chuckle out of the staff as I am called into the unit. I accidentally took credit for the name on posting because I have chemobrain and can’t remember things. Credit where credit is due! Ellie is hilarious!
It helps that I tend to try to belt it out like a sports announcer but the chemo makes me lose my voice so it’s more of a gurgle and pretty ridiculous.
In other news, I only woke up once to pee and once when Louise threw up a bunch around the perimeter of the room, probably as some sort of warning. The new drug they have me on let me get right back to sleep and I got a total of about 7 hours which is unheard of during my active chemo days so far.
I can’t ever thank Ellie enough for all the help and support she is giving me, but cleaning up cat puke at 3am while I hide my face and try to breathe shallowly to not puke myself is so far above and beyond that if I didn’t have my next chemo appointment ON HER HALF BIRTHDAY I would be jeopardizing her employment by making her play hookie and taking her somewhere super fancy in another city somewhere.
In other other news I am living up to my reputation for best timing ever and ordered a new bed not thinking it would arrive so quickly and in so many parts. A split king will arrive in like, 5 shipments. FedEx is dropping off part of the frame today. It’s 135lb box. There are two people in this house today. Me, who can barely walk up and down a flight of stairs, has a pump and a bunch of tubes attached to me, and can’t afford to get a bruise, and Claudia, who is rad as hell but I bet weighs 2/3 of what the box weighs. I will also bet I am out getting disconnected right around the time the FedEx truck pulls up. This will all be fine. Just another silly thing. I have friends to help.
In other breaking news: You are all fucking astoundingly extraordinary friends and I love you all so much and I can’t wait to see you all for crab rangoon at riverwest arby’s when I am out the other side of this. For the non-locals, do not think for a moment that I am not mapping out an itinerary that will have me loop around a good percentage of the globe to come see you and eat crab rangoons or local equivalent as soon as I am able. I love you all so much.
Happy FastTrackFannyPackFriday!