JFC it’s only been 4 days. Time is an illusion, but in the wrong direction.
I feel better than yesterday, but I can definitely tell that the drugs are fucking with my cells now, and I am not looking forward to how these feelings are going to progress when I get to the “real” parts of these cycles in the coming weeks. Still a lot to learn about timing various remedies to match side effects, and how to manage changes that are inevitable. Tap dancing on quicksand is not fun, but it is interesting. I know I have a long brutal experience in front of me, so all I can do is my best.
I am doing my best to remain positive and find little bits of joy everyday. I don’t think I knew what it meant to be present in the moment until now.
To the folks that have lobbed stuff over the fence, or dropped off coffee drinks, or just said nice things to me, I truly believe you are super heroes and I can never get enough and I will never give enough back. I won’t stop saying it either. I love you.
Happy Friday!